26 November 2015

My College Experience Part one

Hello all I was talking to someone the other day about going back to college and saying she love and how I hated and she asked  why ? I then  realised all though I have touched on it before I never really told about my college experience so I thought I would share it with you all today . This will be two parts as it long story ! So I best crack on !




So I was 16 I had cried for to two hours about not getting the gcse results I wanted but I was set I was going to college then uni and I was going to be IT teacher and that was that . However as you can probably guess it quite turn out like that .  So the day came and went of to enrolment I wasn't allowed to all the courses I wanted to  but most of them I was so it all good . My first month of college wasn't that bad as I remember I went to college with a lot of my friends from high school. Which was new experience because I was the only from primary school that went to my high school but I did have my sister then . Anyway the first month not a problem I was stressed as it was an adjustment but I was ok then October hit and I had my first panic attack . I remember it like it was yesterday I  was in my business class and  the teacher asked me question and I simply just said I cant do this any more and walked out . I couldn't breath there was someone  sat on my chest squashing me the teacher came out we talked he told my tutor and nothing more was said .

Then I was behind in my IT classes and the teacher pulled a side and was talking to me about the fact I was behind and I remember exact words to this day . She said me you behind your in college now and I heard about about you walking out of your class and having a tantrum .I said I wasn't have tantrum I was having a panic attack she just brushed off . It was the first time I  had said out loud and I was shaking at this point because in way I had admitted I was struggling . By this point my high school friends had all made friends of there own . I was just left behind struggling spending lot of time in the library trying to catch up and deal with what was going on. It all just got worse from there I started having panic attack every single day and passing out and being sent home . The only person that seemed to understand or care was my sociology teacher . She told me that I was Ok and that would be Ok the worst that would happen was I would pass out.  Now you may think not every comforting but when you feel like your going to dye it really is . So we got to march after many trips to the doctors trying lots of drugs to see if they would help.My mum and I decided I would drop out and get job I had a job over Christmas and I was fine.  Now I am going to leave it there for now as it get rather long post but I will do part two and tell you the rest of my story hope you enjoy this post and it helped you .

How was your college experience ?

bye guys
oxoxoxoxoxo


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